Love Me, Love Me Not Read online

  And that’s when it truly dawns on me—despite everything we’ve gone through and all the pain he’s caused me, I still want him in my life. Because he’s given me just as much, if not more, happiness and strength to believe in myself.

  My fingers wind through his hair and pull his face closer. With zero hesitation, my lips land on his, and I kiss him like the world is about to be hit by a giant meteor. I feel him smiling under my lips as he pulls me even closer. “I love you, Hailey,” he whispers.

  From somewhere not too far away, I hear a familiar squeal and then feel Brittany wrap her arms around my back, squeezing me until it hurts. I laugh and turn toward her just as Adam and Abbie join us. Then Gigi, who must have been hiding out among the students, waiting to see what my answer would be, steps beside us.

  “I love you, too,” I mouth to Brad as the others fall into us, forming a massive group hug in the middle of the hallway.

  I’ve finally found what I’ve always been searching for. What I’ve always needed.

  For better or worse, these people are who I need.

  They are my family.

  EPILOGUE

  “Last one,” Gil says, balancing a box in his arms as he lowers the back door of his SUV.

  I sling a bag over my shoulder, and Gigi extends the handle of a rolling suitcase. It’s the end of August, and I’m officially moving into my college dorm. College. How crazy is that? I pinched myself about a hundred times on the drive here, convinced the last year was just a really long dream and I was bound to wake up any minute.

  Of course, if this were all a dream, I could’ve done without the Chase and Michelle drama. Luckily, we’ve had no more of that. Chase told me where the Meier was, but that was all. I was grateful the Campbells got that painting back, but it wasn’t enough for me to ask them not to press charges. So he was convicted of felony larceny and sentenced to almost three years in prison.

  The good news is the cops also found the Warhol. Apparently, Chase’s cousin took it to a pawn shop and the dealer thought the whole thing was suspicious, so she alerted the police.

  Gil and Gigi decided not to press charges against Michelle after she bawled her eyes out when they confronted her. She said Chase was only supposed to steal a TV or two. When she stopped by after the fact to leave the note, she was appalled by all the damage and instantly regretted what she had done. Of course, she didn’t regret it enough to come clean. Regardless, Gil and Gigi talked to her mom about getting her into therapy. I have no idea if she’s going, because she stopped hanging out with us. No one but Abbie was disappointed, although even Abbie’s relationship with her went downhill. By the end of school, I rarely saw them together.

  “There he is,” Gigi says, tilting her head to the far end of the parking lot. There, far from any other cars, is Brad’s black BMW. The door flies open, and then he sprints over to us.

  He gives me a quick kiss before saying, “Sorry I’m late. Practice went long.”

  His red face and practice clothes make it clear he got here as quickly as he could. “Looks like it was a tough practice,” I say, wiping his sweaty bangs from his eyes.

  “Yeah, but good. We’re coming together as a team.” Brad’s been living at Duke for about a month now. They require football players to get there early so they can have some hard-core practice before school and the season start.

  It was difficult being away from him, but my two jobs helped make the time pass faster. Ms. Gonzalez let both me and Brittany stay with her throughout the summer, but we insisted on paying some of the bills, because it was obvious she struggled without the DSS checks.

  And, luckily, Brad and I still got to see each other on weekends. Either he came back to Pinehurst or Gigi drove me to Durham, where I stayed with him in his on-campus apartment.

  “Did you make dinner reservations?” Gil asks.

  Brad replies, “Yeah. Vin Rouge at seven. It’s a French place.”

  “My favorite,” Gigi says with a smile.

  “Really? I had no idea.” He grins and then gives her and his dad a hug. After he takes the suitcase from Gigi, we head up to my room, where we pile our things next to a few other boxes.

  “Should we start unpacking?” Brad asks.

  “Actually, there’s a campus tour in a few minutes. I thought it might help me learn my way around.”

  “Let’s go,” he says, holding open the door.

  Fifteen minutes later, after saying bye to Gil and Gigi, who headed back to their hotel, Brad and I are at the student union, waiting for the tour to start. On the wall are oversized metallic letters for the name of the school: NCCU. NC Central. My school.

  “Can you take my picture?” I ask, handing Brad my phone. I stand in front of the letters with a ridiculous grin and two thumbs-up.

  “You’re such a goofball,” he says with a laugh, shaking his head and giving me back my phone after snapping a picture.

  “Sherry will appreciate it.”

  While I’m sending it to her, he checks his phone. “You’re not the only goofball,” he says, turning it so I can see. There’s a picture of Brittany and Adam standing next to Rameses, the Carolina mascot, and hamming it up.

  “But they’re just”—I use air quotes—“‘friends.’” I can’t stop my eye roll. Those two might as well be a couple. They spent practically every free moment of the summer together, and with them going to the same college, it looks like that will continue indefinitely. “You really need to have a talk with Adam.”

  “I have. Multiple times.”

  “Brittany told me they made a pact to get married if they were both still single at thirty.”

  “Well, there you go. She finally got him to commit.”

  “For like twelve years from now!”

  He shrugs. “That’s better than nothing, right?”

  “I’m glad you didn’t pull an Adam with me.”

  He laughs. “I think it was more likely you were going to pull an Adam with me. You made me wait two months!”

  “You needed time to realize your mistake.”

  “It took me less than five minutes to realize my mistake after you left. I should’ve chased after you that night.”

  I smile and shake my head. As painful as it was, the time apart was good for me.

  “Anyway,” Brad says, “Brittany and Adam are coming to dinner. Maybe you can bring it up then.”

  I can’t believe how everything came together. We’re at three different colleges, but they’re only fifteen minutes apart from one another. I was accepted at another school—one in the western part of the state—but knowing Brad, Brittany, and Adam would be close to me here made my decision easy. While I’d like to think I can take on the entire world by myself, other people definitely make it easier. I don’t have to do everything on my own. I know Brittany and Adam will step up in a heartbeat like they did when Gil kicked me out. And Brad will never turn his back on me again. I truly believe that.

  He steps next to me and wraps his arm around my back, leaving his hand on my waist. With a squeeze, he says, “I’m so proud of you.”

  I smile up at him. “I’m proud of me, too.”

  “You should be. You’re a college girl now.” He squeezes my waist again and adds, “My college girl.”

  Those words cause the hair on my arms to stand up, my heart to beat wildly in my chest, and my lips to spread into a massive grin. I did it. Against all odds, I’m actually making something of my life. And, while I know my past will always be a part of me, I’m not going to let it define me. I can do whatever I want. Be whatever I want.

  I’ve got this.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  First and foremost, I’d like to thank Sara Mack, not only for being my writing partner and one of my best friends but also for coming up with the title of Love Me, Love Me Not. She’s saved me more than a few times when my creative spark has been completely extinguished. I also have to give a shout-out to her daughter Syd for being my go-to girl for everything teen related.
>
  Next is Joelle, who manages my writing life behind the scenes. I would be lost without her!

  Next is Kat, my very patient editor. Although I was initially skeptical of our differences, I’m thrilled with the give-and-take approach we both used to completely transform the story, and I can’t imagine a better editor for this project.

  Next are my parents for instilling in me a love of reading, and Glen, my husband, for all the support and many extra hours of childcare he’s provided so I can fulfill my dream of becoming a published author.

  Finally are my beta readers, Jenn, Melissa, and Stacy, and all the Swoon Readers who made this book a possibility. Thanks for all your support and feedback. This book exists because of you!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  SM KOZ is a medical writer from North Carolina, where she lives with her husband, two sons, and numerous pets. She has a BS in Biology from Duke University and a Doctorate in Veterinary Medicine from North Carolina State University. When she isn’t writing, she enjoys reading, photographing nature and her family, gardening, travelling, and attempting, usually unsuccessfully, to decorate birthday cakes. Love Me, Love Me Not is her first traditionally published novel. You can sign up for email updates here.

  Thank you for buying this

  Feiwel and Friends ebook.

  To receive special offers, bonus content,

  and info on new releases and other great reads,

  sign up for our newsletters.

  Or visit us online at

  us.macmillan.com/newslettersignup

  For email updates on the author, click here.

  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Copyright

  Copyright © 2018 by Shannon Kozlowicz.

  A Swoon Reads Book

  An imprint of Feiwel and Friends and Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC

  175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010

  swoonreads.com

  All rights reserved.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

  Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by e-mail at [email protected].

  First hardcover: June 2018

  eBook edition June 2018

  eISBN 9781250137821