Love Me, Love Me Not Page 7

  “It’s okay,” I say, stepping between them to prevent an all-out brawl. “He just wants to talk to me for a couple minutes and then he’ll leave, right?”

  “Sure thing, babe.” He smiles at Brad. “We’re just talking, bro.”

  “Stop calling me that.”

  “The weight room?” I ask.

  He nods and then says, “If you hurt her, I will fuck you up. Understand?”

  My eyes grow wide. I’ve never heard Brad talk like that. In fact, I’ve never heard anyone talk like that about me. It sends a warm rush through my body, and I have to fight back a smile.

  I glance at Chase to make sure he didn’t see my reaction, but he’s smirking at Brad with pure hatred in his eyes. That quickly crushes my hidden smile. I need to convince him I’m his and get him out of here ASAP before he can cause any serious trouble.

  I pull him into the weight room and away from Brad.

  “Really quick,” I say, unbuttoning his pants. “And then you have to go.” My plan is to make him happy without actually having sex. I can easily have him out of here in two minutes.

  “What’s the rush, babe?” He reaches for my jeans and starts to unbutton them.

  I cover his hands with my own. “I’m having my period,” I lie. That usually does the trick with him.

  “I don’t mind.”

  “I want to focus on you,” I try again. I unzip his pants and reach through the fly. That gets his attention and he seems to forget about me. He moans and then says, “I’ve missed you, babe.”

  “Me, too,” I lie again. It seems I have to lie a lot around him, and it’s happening more and more lately. That probably should have been my first sign we were doomed to fail. Actually, him stealing food stamps from my mom should have been the first sign. Or threatening my chemistry partner after seeing us talking during lunch. Okay, there have been a lot of signs.

  I start giving him what he likes, and he responds as he always does. In my mind, I’m counting down the seconds until he’s done and can finally leave. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Fi—without warning, he whips my shirt over my head.

  “Chase!” I whisper as he reaches for my bra.

  “Come on, baby,” he says, sliding the material down and gliding his hands over my chest. “Don’t stop now.”

  I glance down to my fingers, where they’ve stilled. I need to finish this quickly and get him out of here. I do as he asks, but he suddenly moans really loudly. Too loudly. All the blood drains from my face as I realize what just happened. He’s never acted like that before. He did it on purpose. To make a scene.

  “Get out of my house!” Brad yells, barreling into the room with Adam right behind him, giving Chase the exact reaction he wanted.

  I reach down and grab my shirt, trying to get it on before Brad and Adam can see anything, but it’s like I’ve got extra fingers and they don’t know how to work together. My arms get stuck in the material and it ends up hanging around my neck while my bra’s still around my waist.

  Brad tackles Chase. He hits the floor with a thud followed by a loud crack as his head lands on a stack of weights.

  “You bastard,” Chase spits out, reaching for his temple, where a small gash is oozing blood.

  I finally get my shirt on and then shove my bra into my waistband as I move to the corner of the room, away from the boys.

  Chase jumps to his feet. Brad pulls back his fist, and I cringe, ready for the hit, but Adam gets to Chase first. He grabs his hand and twists his fingers back. Chase falls to his knees, gasping for breath.

  “I gave you the benefit of the doubt,” Adam says, “and you let all of us down. This is the warning. Next time, we won’t be so easy on you.”

  With that, Adam releases his fingers, but then grips his forearm behind his back and walks him back through the door with Brad following. Chase’s zipper is still down, and I can only imagine what the girls in the other room think.

  I slip into the hallway and see that everyone is watching Adam and Brad throw Chase outside. I make a beeline for the stairs, sprint up them, and then head straight for the front door to escape the wreckage of this night.

  CHAPTER 10

  I rush out the front door and around to the backyard with the safety of the forest beyond. I’m not wearing shoes, but the pinecones and fallen limbs under my feet don’t slow me down one bit. The embarrassment, shame, and disgust I have for myself keep me running until I can no longer see the lights from the Campbells’ house. Then I finally let myself slow down to a walk, pulling in ragged breaths from my first exercise since gym class two years ago.

  When I’m no longer focused on running, the last hour replays in my head over and over again. As if that’s not bad enough, the part when Brad saw me halfway naked is played in slow motion, just to make sure I realize how bad it really was.

  Finally, the tears start falling. I’ve been embarrassed tons of times about how skinny I am or my awful clothes or something my mom did, but none of those compare with this. Brad saw me naked from the waist up. That alone would be bad enough, but he also knows what we were doing. Brad, Mr. Goody Two-Shoes who’s never had sex, saw what I was doing to Chase. I cradle my head in my hands. Brad would never hang out with someone like him. He’s got to be completely disgusted by me right now.

  I reach a dark and quiet street and lower myself to the curb. There’s a house down the road a bit, but I’m alone right here.

  Drawing my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around them and watch the tears drop onto the pavement, forming shiny small dots that reflect the full moon above. My hair falls in a curtain on either side of my face, complete with bits of brittle leaves that got stuck during my trek through the woods. They scratch my cheeks every time I sob.

  I sit like that for a long time. I don’t have a watch, but the moon has moved behind a group of trees, which makes me think it’s been at least half an hour, if not longer. I stare at my dirty socks and finally wonder what I’m going to do. I was so eager to run away from the Campbells, but what’s my plan now? Stay here until morning and wait for someone to call the cops on me? Go to the house down the road and ask to use their phone so I can call DSS? Go back to the Campbells? None of those seem like a good option, so I hug my knees tighter and pray an answer will magically appear before I’m forced to make a decision.

  Just then, two headlights come into view at the end of the street. I lower my hands to the curb, getting ready to push myself up and scamper back to the cover of the woods, when the car stops on the side of the road. Worried any movement would make me even more obvious, I sit still as a statue, hoping they made a wrong turn and will soon leave.

  Instead, two doors open and close, as loud as gunshots in the otherwise silent night. Figures emerge, a tall one and a short one, but I can’t make out any details until they walk into the yellow beam of the headlights.

  Brad and Brittany.

  I lower my head and start crying again. There’s no way I can avoid them now.

  “Where’s Chase?” Brad asks, when he’s standing directly in front of me, his blue Nikes practically touching my feet.

  “How would I know?” I reply, wiping my face with the heel of my hand. Why is that his first question? He was the one who kicked Chase out.

  “You didn’t meet up with him?” Brittany asks.

  “No.” I saw his motorcycle in the driveway but ran the opposite way so I wouldn’t have to deal with him.

  “You weren’t planning on leaving with him?”

  “No, but I’ll be out of your lives as soon as I talk to Sherry.” I turn toward Brad. “Can I use your phone?”

  “What do you mean out of our lives?” he asks. “You’ve only been here two days.”

  “I’ll get a different placement when your parents kick me out.”

  “Why would they kick you out?”

  I sniff and wipe my nose with my sleeve. “Because I broke one of their rules.”

  “They don’t know the whole story. And, even if they did, they
wouldn’t kick you out. You’d lose some privileges, but that’s all.”

  “They have no reason to keep me.”

  “Yeah, they do. They want to help. We all want to help.”

  I take a deep breath, trying to pull myself together before I speak again. “I can’t stay here.”

  “Why?” Brittany asks.

  I shake my head, not wanting to talk about it. Just thinking about it makes my neck and cheeks turn a blotchy, red mess.

  “I didn’t really see anything,” Brad says, obviously getting it.

  “Right,” I reply, scoffing.

  “I was so angry at Chase; he was all I could focus on.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  Brad takes a deep breath and then says, “Let’s just pretend tonight never happened.”

  “Like that’s even possible.”

  Brad shrugs. “I’ve already done it.”

  I shake my head. “How can I stay here if I can’t even look at you anymore?”

  “You can look at me.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  He squats down in front of me, places his thumb under my chin, and tilts my head up. I continue to force my eyes to the side, avoiding his face, as fresh tears fall.

  “Please don’t cry. It’s okay. This doesn’t change anything. You fooled around with your boyfriend. That’s all. I shouldn’t have barged in there. It’s all my fault. Let’s go home and get a good night’s sleep.” He holds out his hand, but I refuse it.

  “This isn’t my life. I need to go back where I belong.”

  “You belong here,” he says.

  “No, I don’t. You don’t get it.”

  “Get what?” he asks, resting his hand on my shoulder.

  I glance at his hand, surprised he’d touch me after what he saw and what he must think of me. “Chase slashed your tires.”

  “I know.”

  “He wanted to cause a scene tonight.”

  “I know.”

  If he knows, why does he want me to stay? It makes no sense for him to bring this into his perfect life.

  “He’ll keep causing problems.”

  “No, he won’t,” he says with a shake of his head. His blue eyes are serious, and his jaw is clenched tight. It seems there’s no doubt in his mind we could be done with Chase.

  “Yes, he will,” I push. “You don’t know him.”

  “I have a pretty good idea of what he’s like.”

  “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he damaged anything else of yours or hurt you.”

  “First of all, Dad is getting a better security system, so you don’t have to worry about our stuff. As far as me, I think I can hold my own against him.”

  “I don’t know.…”

  “Really, Hailey?” he asks, his lip twitching as though he’s fighting back a smile. “I’ve got at least sixty pounds of muscle on him. You honestly think I’d let him get away with anything?”

  “He’s just…”

  “What?”

  “Not really into fighting fair.” That’s an understatement. I’m surprised he didn’t pull out a knife tonight.

  “I’m not worried. Between my size and Adam’s killer karate moves, we’re safe. You’re safe. Just say the word and I won’t let him near you again. I promise.” He squeezes my shoulder, and I get that same sense of safety I felt back in his basement before Chase came in.

  “Why?” I ask, still not understanding why he’d want to deal with all my crap.

  “I’m your foster brother,” he says with a shrug. “That’s what we do. Protect our foster sisters from assholes.”

  “This is my life and my drama, not yours.” I sigh and add, “I’ll never be able to escape it, but that doesn’t mean you should have to deal with it.”

  “Dammit, Hailey!” Brittany yells. “Don’t act so helpless! You can change things. Go home with the Campbells. Cut ties with Chase for good. Graduate high school. I’ve been there. I know it’s hard and it seems impossible, but it’s not. You’re in control of your life.”

  She meets my eyes, and we stare at each other for a few moments before I have to look away. She reaches for my hands. “Do you want more from your life? That’s all you need to ask yourself.”

  She’s right.

  It’s that simple. If I want to live like my mom, then I keep on doing what I’ve been doing. If I want something better—college, a good job, a decent home and car—it’s time to make a change. A real change for once. I can’t count on people like Chase.

  My spine straightens. I pull my shoulders back. I take a deep breath. This is it.

  “I don’t want Chase to bother me again,” I say to Brad.

  “Done,” he replies, stone-faced, as if it will be as easy as taking out the trash. The funny thing is, I completely trust him. I met him yesterday but have absolute faith he will do whatever he says.

  “Group hug,” Brittany says, motioning with her hands as Brad and I rise to our feet. The three of us stand there, on the side of the street, in a three-way hug, as I shed yet more tears. This time, though, they’re happy tears. These are the type of people I need around me—people who believe in me. My life might actually be on the right track for once.

  CHAPTER 11

  “You up, Hailey?”

  I hear Brad’s voice through my bedroom door and moan. Even though last night ended well, I’m still embarrassed by what happened. Plus, to make matters worse, Gil and Gigi were in the car. They didn’t ask for any explanation when I got in, but I’m sure it’s coming. The fear of telling them feels like a freight train sitting on my chest.

  “Mom made pancakes, if you’re hungry.”

  My stomach growls at his words. Of course, if I go down there, I’ll have to face everyone. Running away would have been so much easier.

  “Can you say something, so I know you’re in there?”

  “I’m here,” I reply.

  “Okay, good. We’re all downstairs, if you want to join us.”

  Reluctantly, I rise. If I’m staying here, I have to face them. As much as I’m dreading it, it’s probably better to get it over with sooner rather than later. I run a brush through my hair, throw a sweatshirt over my tank top, and rinse my face, hopeful it will help wash away my crappy yesterday.

  When I arrive in the kitchen, everyone is sitting around the table with not only pancakes but also bacon, eggs, and orange juice. It’s a feast, really. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to having more than enough food waiting for me whenever I want it. And the Campbells don’t even realize what a luxury it is. To them, luxury is probably a yacht or an expensive sports car. To me, it’s a full plate of food at least once a day.

  “Morning,” Gil says, pouring syrup onto his pancakes.

  “Good morning,” I practically whisper, as I keep my eyes down and find my spot at the table.

  “Would you like some juice?” Gigi asks.

  I nod, and she pours a glass for me.

  “Have you heard back from that scout?” Gil asks Brad.

  “Yeah, he called yesterday. They’re interested, but he said I’d probably be offered an academic scholarship, not a football scholarship.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “He said I have unusually high grades for an athlete. They try to save the athletic scholarships for those who really need them.”

  “But you’d still be on the team, right?” Gigi asks.

  “Yeah.”

  Gigi passes a plate of scrambled eggs to me. “Help yourself, Hailey.” To Brad, she asks, “So, what do you think? Could you see yourself at Wake?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “It’s a fantastic school,” Gil says.

  “Of course you’re going to say that. It’s your school,” Brad replies, rolling his eyes. “Both my parents went to Wake Forest,” he says, turning to me.

  I nod and spoon eggs onto my plate. I’m happy to see they’re more interested in Brad and his future than me this morning. Maybe they will a
ct like last night never happened, and I won’t have to explain it to Gil and Gigi.

  “They have a top-notch premed program and their football program is getting better every year,” Gil says.

  “I know.”

  “What’s the problem then?”

  Brad chews his food thoughtfully. When he finally swallows, he says, “I always thought I’d go someplace new for college. You know, someplace different.”

  “Wake would be new to you.”

  “I’ve been there hundreds of times!”

  “As a visitor, not a student,” Gigi says.

  Brad rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. I need to think about it and see what the other schools have to say.”

  “Absolutely,” Gigi responds. “So, do you two have plans for the day?”

  “Homework,” Brad says.

  Then they all look at me. The only homework I have left is geometry, and I’m not sure any more time will help me. I don’t have anything else to do, though, so I reply, “The same.”

  “Do you need help with geometry?” Brad asks, as if reading my mind.

  “No, you’re busy. I’ll be fine.”

  “I’ll be done in a few hours if you want to work on it together.”

  “Oh, okay. Sure,” I reply quietly, moving eggs around my plate.

  The conversation then turns to football—high school, college, and professional. I eat my breakfast and smile and nod whenever they try to include me in the discussion, but I have no idea what they’re talking about.

  As Gil clears the table, Gigi asks, “Can I talk to you for a minute, Hailey?”

  And just like that, the freight train sitting on my chest starts up its engine and tries to suffocate me with its weight.

  I don’t answer, but Brad and Gil make a quick exit, leaving me alone with her.

  “Do you want to tell me what happened last night?” she asks.

  “Not really,” I mumble, smashing a crumb on the tabletop with my finger.

  “Why not?”

  “I messed up.”

  “We all mess up.”

  “Not you guys. You, Gil, and Brad are all perfect.”

  “We’re far from perfect.”